judge city

It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay is a new feature where I examine an issue and show that what may not be “right” can also be, well, “okay.”  Also, I wrote this post before the tragic news of Whitney Houston’s passing. Love you, Whitney Houston, THE diva extraordinaire.

Let it be known that I do not think Valentine’s Day is pointless on the grounds that any day labeled as a “holiday” means that 1) there is a shit ton of candy produced in that holiday’s honor 2) I can eat large quantities of said candy. I would never denounce any day that has its own candy.

But, I do believe that Valentine’s Day is more often than not the day where the shitty couples pretend to like each other and try to flaunt their shitty relationship on Facebook with pics of their new teddy bears and whatnot.

Sidenote 1: What the fuck am I supposed to do with a teddy bear? If you could give me five good reasons why a teddy bear is a good gift for a 22-year-old woman I will post a video of me eating a bag of stale black jelly beans in my Forever Lazy.

I think it’s really stupid that the worst couples on Earth crawl out of the woodwork on V-day and blow up your social media sites with pre-dinner pics and the dreaded kissing pics.  I NEVER want to see a pic of you and your significant other kissing…EVER.

Conversely, couples may feel pressure to celebrate and single ladies/guys feel weird for not being in a relationship. That pressure is not okay. And it’s not okay that corporations from Kay Jewelers to Hallmark market this holiday like a couples-only skate.

So what’s right with Valentine’s Day aside from the candy? Well, the phrase, “different strokes for different folks,” doesn’t just apply to the V-day bedroom, ohhh–kkkaayyyyy?

You see, I eschew overtly romantic gestures. Don’t text me Bruno Mars lyrics and don’t be clingy. I’d always prefer a nice card to jewelry. This being stated, I am a little biased against the visions of Eros that permeate anniversaries, birthdays, and V-day. However, so many of my peers LOVE that romantic shit. And you know what? That’s okay! For these women and menValentine’s Day is the ultimate day of romance for them. And that is okay. They truly look forward to a day just a little more special, the chance to put effort into making the other person feel extra special. And that is okay. Loving Valentine’s Day is okay. Go out to Bertucci’s in your new heels and get on with your badself. Not right for me, okay for you.

And for those single, romantic or not, its time to take control of Valentine’s Day. Hell, even couples, start making Valentine’s day okay for you! Valentine’s Day should really be about celebrating those who you love in your life. Go get Paula-Deen-level-diabetes eating those conversation hearts (ever notice how those only taste good on V-day?), go get drunk on Franzia, go on a date (with friends, family, or your bf/gf).

But, whatever you do, don’t be an angry asshole bashing V-day because you know what? You will be the only one not having fun. As much as I hate seeing V-day-PDA, I get equally annoyed with all those complaining.

Each year I realize that everything is what you make it. It’s sometimes hard to follow, but something as silly and often contrived as Valentine’s Day can be, can also be made into something fun and meaningful. The year I watched Heavyweights with my friends (and also accidentally wore matching outfits with my bff to pick up Thai food) is one of my favorite memories! I personally don’t like Valentine’s Day as just a couple day, I like it as a day to appreciate everyone in your life.

And eat lots of candy.

Sidenote 2: Valentine’s Day is pronounced ValentiNe’s Day NOT ValentiMe’s Day. There is no “m” in Valentine’s Day.

Sidenote 3: Preach.