judge city

The onslaught of humblebragging has created a whole new level of the conceited jerk-off with what I like to call the ‘work/martyr humblebragger.’

Recently, I was introduced to a friend’s supervisor. As my friend scurried away, he asks the usual  ‘How do you know this person?’ and ‘Where do you live?’ all which culminates into, ‘So, what do you do?’

After explaining my job, he responds with an odd, sort of sarcastic wistfulness: ‘So it’s a Monday through Friday, 9-5 right? Must be nice.’

And from there he regales me with stories of just how busy and demanding his job is as if he was recounting his time in ‘Nam.

He’s a typical work/martyr humblebragger, which basically entails acting like he’s a poor serf to his never-ending list of work tasks while also subtly bragging about how important his job is.

Busyness is holiness in the work/martyr humblebragger’s eyes. They’re not conceited enough to flat-out say they have this supposed-amazing-baller job,  so they lessen the baller-ness by saying they’re just ‘so so busy,’ which comes together nicely in a statement such as, ‘I was so busy, I haven’t slept in like 4 days, I don’t know how I’m here!’ Asking everyone to marvel at their bravery to show up in the face of no sleep. And the coup de grâce is that they always make sure you know just how lucky you are that you don’t have their crazy, highly demanding  job because it’s just so crazy and high demanding. Seriously, it’s so adorable you have a little job that lets you have two days off a week.

And God forbid your job is like their’s lest it become a pissing match of who slept the least that week.

Where this type of humblebragging becomes problematic (rather than just annoying) is their need to undercut your work schedule/job. Once this supervisor realized I had a ‘9-5’, he no longer cared about the specifics–he just wanted to jump in and make it a point that whatever I did was less important than whatever he did. He was so quick with his ‘oh so terrible yet glamorous schedule’ that he didn’t even realize we are in very similar fields.

Of course, I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of slipping a small humblebrag in there somewhere. And I’m not saying that there aren’t times where you need to vent/complain about your job. It’s okay to vent about your job even if you love it! Venting is letting off steam and full-on humblebragging is turning that steam into pompous douchery. It was clear that this supervisor loves the demands of his high-title job, which would have been way more interesting to hear about rather than his feigned annoyance of it.

Wearing their lack of weekends like a badge of honor is pure martyrdom at its best and guess what? It’s boring. And it’s not impressive. Being over-worked is not an interesting conversation topic. And not getting enough sleep? That makes me feel semi-bad for them. Seriously, have they seen The Machinist?

When I hear such work/martyr humblebrags in relation to how ‘easy I have it’ I don’t feel the need to justify my job or how busy I am even though it’s hard not to want to. But, it’s not about me or even their own job, it’s about their need to feel secure and superior. They could be talking to the ghost of Steve Jobs and it still would always be about them.

Bottom line for work/martyr humblebraggers: NO ONE CARES. Your lack of sleep, crazy hours, and 7 day workweek doesn’t make you more important or better than a person with a job/schedule different from yours. So stop being so wrapped up in yourself and your job because like Shania said: