judge city

In a recent Vanity Fair profile, Taylor Swift responded to a joke made at her expense by Golden Globes hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, saying: ‘There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’

It’s beyond mystifying, upsetting, and ridiculous that Swift would use the above quote in reference to two brilliant performers who have trailblazed the path for female comedians, moved mountains for female writers and performers, and basically changed the game for all entertainers. It was an immature misuse of the original quote in reaction to an awards ceremony where celebs are expected fodder for the hosts.

I could spend five hours bashing Taylor Swift as well as the hypocrisy of her statement…But, I’m not going to.

Instead of designating Swift to a special place in hell (where they only play the chorus to ‘We Are Never Getting Back Together’), I’m going to pay her idiocy forward, in the hopes of balancing out her misplaced faux feminist quote and unicorn-brand of injustice, with a love note about one of my idols who also happens to be an OG comedienne extraordinaire: Elaine May.

When the Judd Apatow-edited issue of Vanity Fair hit newsstands this winter, I admit, I bought a copy of each cover. Much to my elated surprise, there was a full feature (and interview!) with Mike Nichols and Elaine May. I legitimately squealed while reading it, which thankfully went unnoticed at LaGuardia Terminal 4a. This happened again during the pages on Freaks and Geeks.

Nichols & May’s sketches set a gold standard for improv and sketch comedy, arguably laying the groundwork for such prestigious troupes as UCB and Second City. May went on to write and direct such wonderful films as The Heartbreak Kid and A New Leaf (as well as the infamous Ishtar). You can Wikipedia her, but more importantly watch her films.

In 2011 I attended a screening of Mikey and Nicky followed by a Q&A with the director, Elaine May. If you ever encounter an asshat who still insists women are not funny and can’t write for men, you should probably refrain from speaking to them AND/OR show them Mikey and Nicky. The story examines the love/contempt that only exists between long term couples or siblings or dear friends, capturing bittersweet comedic moments at every chance. 

Most are quick to hail Tarantino as the reviver of French New Wave, but look no further than Mikey and Nicky’s gritty Chicago mobster underbelly that mirrors the mean Paris streets in Tirez sur le pianiste. Or look at the woefully complicated relationship between its protagonists, a wonderful Peter Faulk and John Cassavettes–it’s like a funnier Jules et Jim (minus Moreau). May skillfully casts light into the darkness of subcultures, of the things that go BANG in the night, all with her biting sense of absurdism and fearless humor. Any-who, it’s a fantastic film and you should go enjoy it.

As I walked out into the lobby of the theater, I spotted her. ‘Holy shit, I’m standing a foot away from Elaine May,’ I said (hopefully in my head and not out loud). What do you say to your idol, one of your comedic dieties?

In movies, usually one’s idols/sensei come in the form of an animated forest creature or a mystical talking tree. It would have been so much easier to talk to Elaine May if she were a mystical talking tree. She kindly shook people’s hands as I stood there, physically dwarfing her in size. My idle standing was beginning to look both creepy and pathetically oafish so much so that her husband (legendary Singin’ in the Rain director Stanley Donen) sort of motioned for me to talk to her–‘go on, I know you have something to say.’ I smiled at him in a way to show I wasn’t sure if I could. He got swept in conversation with others and I left the building.

I didn’t say anything and maybe that’s for the better because I didn’t want to just mumble something like ELAINE MAY I LOVE YOUR WORK! and run away. However, I wish I could have told her, ‘Thank you.’ And that thank you would have meant for making Mikey and Nicky and for all her films and for her improv and for her writing and for being someone a female wannabe writer could look up to.

Poehler/Fey for Oscars 2014!!!!