judge city

About a year ago I started this blog. A year before that I was cranking out screenplays–sometimes up to 80 pages of script a night. Fast-forward to the present and I cannot write a damn thing.

Writer’s block sounds temporary. Like I have a homework assignment I don’t want to do,  the answer to the question will come to me, eventually. I’ll write a draft, hand it in. Writer’s block has a connotation of not wanting to write.

No, I desperately want to write. I just can’t. I can’t really explain why. I have a Mental Block. The words I want to rid my mind of–I can’t jumble them together into a neat package to send to my fingertips. Or something like that.

But two things happened (aside from some friendly, appreciated encouragement): 1) I realized it’s about a one year anniversary with my blog 2) I told my boss that the only contest I ever entered, a writing contest in college, I won. He asked  me why it didn’t make me want to become a fantastic writer. Well, I thought, there’s still time to become that fantastic writer.

It’s about time I write again. Break through the Mental Block.

I’m going to start off slow with this first post back, but don’t worry I will be handing out judgements from my bed of crumbs whilst Bravo blares in the background shortly. So,  in the form of my favorite game Rose (best part) Bud (what you want to happen in the future) Thorn (worst part) is a Free Association collection of a smattering of  things that happened while I wasn’t writing.

Lets start with the bad (Thorns), the good (Roses), and end with some wishes (Buds)

Thorns:

-My Mental Block, duh

– My sister and I breaking the news to my mom that Third Eye Blind’s ‘Semi-Charmed Kind of Life’ is about meth addiction

– Anytime an old white Republican male talked about rape and/or birth control and/or guns

-Movies that weren’t worth the hype. Namely, Flight (should’ve been called Exposition—amirite, screenwriters?) and Lincoln (snoozefest/not enough shirtless Lincoln, third sexiest president)

– ‘Catfish’ is now a verb. I love the show, but I’m sick of hearing about a certain case involving a football player that rhymes with Shmanti Shmayo. Judgecity moment, realtalk: IF YOU ARE TALKING TO A PERSON ONLINE WHO A) DOES NOT OWN A CELL PHONE IN A WORLD IN WHICH HOMELESS PEOPLE CARRY SMARTPHONES B) DOES NOT WEB CAM/SKYPE/MEET YOU IN PERSON–HE OR SHE IS NOT REAL/NOT WHO THEY SAY THEY ARE/NOT AN ACTUAL MODEL. If you have to ask if you’re being catfished, you’re being catfished.

Sidenote: speaking of the dumb internet… A while ago someone named their baby Hasthtag. Even Prince, who once changed his name to a symbol, thought that was stoopid. Although LiL hAsHtAg is an awesome rap name and/or AOL screen name…#youwin

-Sneaker wedges

Roses:

-Almost everything about HBO’s Girls, Penny on Happy Endings, Downton Abbey (pics of my Maggie Smith tramp stamp available upon request)

-Releases that lived up to the hype: Silver Linings Playbook and Django Unchained

-MissingGus, but we now have crazy Bubba–the cutest dog on the block! (see above pic for proof)

-SPOILER ALERT: Obama being re-elected! ‘YAY,’ said me and most of America

-Doritos (thank you for being a friend)

Buds**:

-Ban on assault rifles (even the Gipper was into that, Reps), better mental healthcare, and stricter background checks for all gun purchases

-Marriage equality in every state NOW!

-For me to Freaky Friday with Jennifer Lawrence (because she’s awesome) OR Freaky Friday with Clive Owen so I can divorce his wife (while in his body)–>  marry myself (him in my body)–> Freaky Friday switch back to original bodies –> still married –>it works out in the end (even though he gets mad and it looks like it’s not going to at first)

Thanks for the encouragement to those who encouraged me out there and I can’t wait to Judgecity some more. 

**’Buds’ also the name of my comedy where two totally opposite roommates (one’s a stoner and one’s a neat freak!) who meet on Craigslist have to sell marijuana (after neat freak loses his finance job) in order to pay for rent! Anyone wanting to buy that movie contact me.